Everyone lies

 There are risks which i cannot afford to take; and there are risks i cannot afford not to take. Sometimes we get so caught up with what scares us that we fail to see why they do. That’s when we carry on, aimlessly, blindly and senselessly. I know what i’m afraid of, but i’m too afraid to do anything about it. Nothing more than another tragic case of the lack of will. I’ve let fear take control of what i do, how i feel, who i am; but now i realised i need my mind and soul to take a breath, step back and remind myself, who’s in charge of my own life.

Ask most people what they want out of life and the answer is simple - to be happy. Maybe it's this expectation though of wanting to be happy that just keeps us from ever getting there. Maybe the more we try to will ourselves to state's of bliss, the more confused we get - to the point where we don't recognize ourselves. Instead we just keep smiling - trying to be the happy people we wish we were. Until it eventually hits us, it's been there all along. Not in our dreams or our hopes but in the known, the comfortable, the familiar. . -Meredith

Me above all else.

Just wanna push everyone away right now. Okay maybe not everyone. 

Anw, school been getting pretty hectic. Actually, it'll be pretty alright if not for bloody MA1101R. bloody linear algebra, the bane of my freaking existance. This jst shows how im not fucking perfect, get that image of me scoring straight As out of your head. actually, i think now, i dont really care what you think. cause it doesnt seem like you care abt me anymore anyway. oh well.

i cant believe im saying this, but im actually enjoying training now. although i only do like, once or twice a week. i shall attempt to train 3 times a week. soon. ahah. but yea, im actually enjoying it. post training is always fun. cause we always have good food (:  and it just allows me to escape from work.. cause i reach home around 11+ everytime i train. ahah. not that i mind. i enjoy studying in the middle of the night anyway. i like the quiet. Mmm.

Too many things I wanna say but.. this jst isnt the right place. hah. 

You asked why I do not tell you when I'm upset, you wonder why I don't share that side of me with you.
For one, you are a lousy listener. You don't bother to listen. Thats why.

And I hate it when you push me away

Keep smiling, keep shining
Knowing you can always count on me, for sure
Thats what friends are for
For good times, and bad times

I know I have blogged in forever. But my life has been way too mundane for everyone else to keep track off. School has started. Im pretty much friendless at the moment. All my friends are all seniors so thats not really very helpful during lectures. HOWEVER... My mum has given me the green light for scuba diving! Which is awesome :D Gng tioman in about.. 3wks time i think? Yay! Got theory session next monday already. Also, tutorials are going to start next week! Which means less slack time. Hmm oh well. My time table starts really late. Wed and Fri are the best (:

As of now, I kinda hate japanese studies. The rest are okay. Accounting is really boring. I dont even know why they make me take accounting in the first place. Sigh. Had my first math quiz today! It was.. easy? Hah actually, it was just one question. Lol.

Right. Thats all I will say for now. Goodbye.

Went for NDP Preview with Dandan. The fireworks were awesome. They had like a cresent moon with 5 stars sorta fireworks. cool. too bad i forgot to bring my camera. Heres some pictures taken using my lousy iphone.













Went tanning w kel and his sister like dunno how long ago. we saw a halo rainbow! but as usual, no camera. so we have to settle with iphone camera that does the rainbow no justice at all.

Val is leaving in 3 days! ):

Anw, had a gathering with the vj sailors on friday. Then night out with val xuan and zach @ hard rock before heading to z's then to x's to watch soccer. I actually watched soccer. Cant believe it. I hate soccer but I actually watched it. But well, 4 goals were scored so I would say its pretty interesting? Had to cab home after that cause I didnt drive and we drank. Hate midnight surcharge. Oh well. 

And I just realised that Monday night I have no sst duty cause its Youth day! Yay. 7 more days of SST duties then im out! :D Mum wants to travel. But she wants to go places like Taiwan or Shanghai :/ I want to travel too. Taiwan maybe. But ive been there before.. And go there sure gain weight one. Ahaha.

 Finally got my A lvl cert, SGC and VJ year book. The year book is so freaking heavy and, vj renovated LT1! its so nice now. grr. And I had to suffer two years of shaky table and chair when they get nice chair and proper tables. Horrible. 

The past two week has been exhausting. Waking up before 8 to get to work at ss, handling a ADHD kid, then staying there all the way till 10pm. Absolutely exhausting. Maybe cause im just too used to sleeping in. But oh wells, im done with that already so yay. Sleep ins again. 

Everything went great, other than falling sick on fri night/sat morning. Cancelled all my tuition classes on sat and slept my whole day away. So now, Im all better (:

Went shopping with val on Friday. It was an awesome day out as usual. Talked girl stuff. Cant help but to think of the things that are going on and wishing how I would want things to be going instead of how they are currently going. But I guess we cant always get what we want. Or maybe I would just like to be able to read minds sometimes. Oh val. Sucks that youre gng away in about a weeks time. I cant have anymore girls talk when we drive home from Vivo anymore. That is pretty damn saddening cause there are so many things that I can only tell you. Ahhhh. And you will be missed! (: